From The Cleveland Plain Dealer - Pam Lilley

Nearly all parents wish to provide their children with the advantages they never had growing up. But often, these good intentions produce negative consequences. As a result, many children are raised with a strong sense of entitlement, having few opportunities to learn the value of earning anything.

This overindulgence can take three forms, the authors write. First, some children are given too much and have difficulty understanding what is enough. Second, parents might over-nurture, doing for their children what their kids can do themselves. And third, homes have a soft structure in which rules don't exist or are not enforced.
Many of the book's chapters include a section called "In Their Own Voices," in which adults speak of the difficulties they had growing up in homes where such patterns existed.

The authors list four questions to ask to determine whether the outcome might lead to overindulgence. These questions encourage parents to consider whether the child's development will be fostered or hindered, the cost to family resources, whose needs are being met and the possible harm. The authors also clarify the difference between overindulgence and spoiling.

"How Much Is Enough?" reminds parents that real self-esteem cannot come from having expensive clothes or "cool" parents. It comes from feeling that one has earned possessions, skills and respect.

From Publishers Weekly

Parents who over-coddle, over-schedule and over-stimulate would do well to cut back or risk damage for generations to come, according to authors Clarke, Dawson (co-authors of Growing Up Again) and Bredehoft (chair of the department of social and behavioral sciences at Concordia University, St. Paul). Unchecked, overindulgence can create kids who lack even the most basic skills, morals and emotions, they say. Considering the popularity of the 'they're-only-kids-once' people who encourage individuality and permissiveness, this is certainly a different-maybe even controversial-approach. While perhaps a bit melodramatic in its outlook, the book manages to be useful and specific, and it's not simply a "tough love" guide, either. Go ahead, these authors say, love them dearly but while you are at it, give them chores, rules, structure and a united front-the results will be overwhelmingly positive. The unlikeliness of some scenarios and tips will make parents wince (despite what anyone says, few kids will thank their parents for being strict). It's also safe to assume that no matter the case, sometimes even the best parent can't get a point in edgewise. So, if parents and kids can learn when enough truly is enough, will the world be a better place? Maybe, maybe not-but like chicken soup, it can't hurt.

From Amazon.com

Wish all parents would read this..., August 17, 2007
By Amateur Critic "Mike" (Texas)

A very readable book loaded with straightforward advice that can be easily implemented. I bought this book fearing that perhaps it was for wealthy parents. Not the case. Rather, the book argues convincingly that children of all socio-economic backgrounds can be and too frequently are overindulged. "Johnnie go to your room. OK?" Wrong. "Johnnie go to your room. Do you understand?" Right. Big difference. It turns out that it's little things that make a big difference.

This one is a definite must-read.

Made the wife happy, July 27, 2007
By Big Guy "B.A." (Virginia)

I didn't read, but she told me about it for a couple of weeks, so I felt like I read it. And saved the effort. Anyway, we spoil our kids rotten compared to when I was coming up, but where does positive reinforcement end and spoiling begin? This books helps you to draw the line. Which is hard, because she's with them all day, and during the week I'm at work a lot and on the weekends, sometimes I want to get them something; or when I'm going to eat at Tyson's, the urge is to buy a little something at the Lego store or a new game chip. Ah, who thought raising good kids was this hard,

Good book though.

From Amazon.com

How Much Is Enough?, March 9, 2007
By Mrs. K. "Mrs. K." (IOWA)

This book is amazing. Something here for every parent, grandparent, educator, employer, etc. I was impressed with this research driven book. It contains countless interviews and real-life situations. The stories tell great lessons. I see this as a window into the family dynamics of many children today. I experienced self evaluation and a greater understanding of people I encounter in my daily life.

Worth every penny...buy it.

By Katie Lipka (Berkeley, CA United States)

Instead of giving me yet another methodology for parenting, this book gave me a gauge to measure and to understand the methodology I was using. It also helped me define goals for my children in terms of behavior now as well as the eventual outcome of functioning adulthood!

I originally got it from the library, but after returning it I found myself thinking back to it so often that I had to buy it.
 

From BarnesandNoble.com

Conscience and Personal Economy, October 6, 2004

We might say this book, How Much Is Enough, is about parenting, or grandparenting, both subjects the authors have accumulated a great deal of information on from their research. We could say this book speaks about materialism in the family, economy, and resource allocation. But the sterling core of this book is about conscience. The authors, in every chapter, in graphic examples, ask the question: "Is anyone being hurt by each decision and action we personally make?"

We live in a time where our culture does not speak out about the value of conscience. We have overfilled jails and juvenile facilities, overactive pharmaceutical industries and financial institutions, but where do we hear about the value of knowing and doing what is right? Has this become an unpopular notion?

These authors give us guidelines to be able to judge for ourselves where the lines are between what is enough, and what is overindulgence. This book illustrates through narrative examples what happens, what the effects are, when this line is crossed over. In a time when consumerism is encouraged and having more is considered better, these authors cause us to ask ourselves if we even know how much is enough. Their research shows us the consequences: to individuals, to families, and to our culture when the concept of enough becomes cloudy.

Using a very clear test of four questions, the authors teach us to have means to judge our interactions with others in our lives. While speaking specifically about interactions between children and their responsible caregivers, the book puts us in the detective's seat to be able to see how a given situation could be interpreted as either helpful or harmful, and how to discern the difference.
When helping can seem like hurting, and hurting can seem like helping, how exactly are we to be able to know what is really occurring? This book gives us the tools and skills to clearly see which path to take. It presents a calculus of human behavior, with if ... then equations that describe the actual content of interactions in a way we can punitively define the correct outcome.

While being readable, interesting, and enjoyable, this book transforms us. After reading How Much is Enough, no one can proceed without having a different view of personal economy. We are challenged to look at ourselves, our decisions, our acts, and consider if anyone is being hurt before we proceed. This book gives us a tangible grip on conscience and how to use it in everyday ways.
Myra Fourwinds (St. Paul, MN)

From Amazon.com Social Work Educator's Perspective, September 7, 2004
 

Overindulgence may be the farthest thing from a child welfare social worker's mind when the subject of child maltreatment, child abuse, or child neglect comes under discussion. Overindulgence, while not a statutory category of child maltreatment, may provide a lens and language useful in multi-problem child welfare cases that enhances assessment and effective strengths-based communications with courts, advocates, therapists, and parents. Child welfare prioritizes goals of remaining together as a family with health, safety, and benefit to the children's growth and development, and frequently utilizes parent education as a primary opportunity for communication, assessment, and intervention.

A recently released book by Clarke, Dawson, and Bredehoft (2004) presents research on overindulgence in a manner that adds potentially relevant concepts to child welfare work. Parent education and child welfare share concerns of balancing nurture, structure, and resources to prevent disruptions in children's development, health, and safety. Clarke, Dawson, and Bredehoft (2004) describe overindulgence as parenting that hinders children from accomplishing developmental tasks and prevents them from learning life skills. Whether extremes of abundance or deficits exist, a frame of reference for understanding how to strike a desired balance between excess and insufficiency may provide a vital missing piece in assessment and in empowering the healing process for families of all backgrounds. Using scientific research to identify adverse outcomes affecting children's lives, this new book on overindulgence includes presentation of assessment techniques and the necessary action steps to assist families in rebalancing their parenting. A. M. Ogilvie "PhD, MSW" (Washington)